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Greedy for Grief

You forget that...

When you’re suffering, I’m suffering as well.

When you’re not sleeping, I can’t sleep as well.

When you’re in pain, I’m in pain as well.

When you think of her, she’s on my mind as well.

When you’re hurting, I am hurt as well.

When you feel all alone, I am alone as well.

When you’re frustrated, I am in rage as well.

When you lost hope, my shoulders drop down as well.

When you stare into nothing, I am seeing what you’re seeing as well.

When you lose the will to go on, I become less nonchalant as well.

When you get fed-up because you care, I experience the same as well.

When you decide to leave, I am heartbroken as well.

When finally you see the hope for a good night’s sleep, I lay peacefully as well.

Image taken from http://holycrapwerehavingababy.wordpress.com

It’s hard to not be greedy when you’re grieving but there are so many that loved her, and they are grieving as well, in their own way.

Mak would understand - the full story

This post is not intended for anyone, although it may have been sparked by someone.

Mak would understand

1. why I need to spend for my lingerie at Marks & Spencer instead of 10-ringgit-bra-sizes-only-up-to-CupC at Jusco.
2. the change in behaviour during monthly bleeds.
3. what a big slap it is in the face when you have endometriosis and you're faced with the possibilities of infertillity.
4. that washing dishes all day long will aggravate your back pain and worsens your slipped disc.
5. if you don't feel like doing it, then don't do it.
6. how annoying and frustrating it is to have to do the house chores on your own because everyone else moves too slow or worse, ignorant towards it.
7. there are times when you just wanna be rude and be alone and this happens not because you ask for it but because the worst pain in the world, besides child birth, is churning down your pipes.
8. the importance of chocolates.
9. that when you go to someone's house and you want to leave early, not because you hate them but you have tons of house chores waiting back home.
10. and giggles when I talk about him.
11. that all women need to shop, no matter how little you will spend, and even if it's at the pasar malam or at some DIY store.
12. my preference to buy groceries at a supermarket because they have everything on one floor and they provide trolleys.
13. why I need a special room for my clothes and shoes, only.
14. the importance of arriving at the mall before 10am on sale day.
15. that before marriage, I need to be excused for me-time when he calls.
16. how I need her to be beside me during my akad nikah.
17. how frustrated I can be when others are bitchy to me, and she would give them a piece of her mind.
18. that it is a life-requirement for you to look good when you step out of the house.
19. that one can never have too many baju kurungs.
20. why sometimes the aircond should not be turned off.
21. why you just need to splurge on that gorgeous handbag.
22. my inner desire to flirt with that hot guy, in silence of course.
23. that we tend to have difficulty in falling asleep because we tend to think of who will take care our loved ones when we're gone.
24. that we should never accept anyone bullying us; be it at school, at work, in life from anyone at all.
25. and applaud if I fight back to those bitches.
26. what I want to eat when I'm sick, without me informing her.
27. that sometimes, I really hate men and I want to kill them.
28. how stupid people affects you in a way that you want to kick them and walk away quickly.
29. I rather not walk in a hot weather and ruin my shoes/clothes/hair(previously)/tudung(now)/make-up.
30. me from far away, eventhough we are parted by continents.

Mak would simply understands.



Allahyarhamah Rabaiyah Ahmad, best mum ever!

Perfect's Imperfections

Either we are the culprit or the victim. And sometimes, even both. We all have been through it, annoying and annoyed. But almost everyone does it unintentionally (well, maybe more on unaware with intentions) until someone points it out.

For me, I'm guilty for both. Filled with unexplained emotions, my best argument would be seeking for attention. I am a Libran, after all. My main question is, for me and you, is how do we really manage it? What should be done about it? I've found myself easily annoyed with family, especially my parents and the devil inside seems to whisper that they should know better not to annoy me (nowhere near the humble pie - sad).

But what do you do? They're your parents, after all. At times, I find myself trying to restraint from replying with a slightly raised voice. You may however psyche your mind to behave with the reminder not to fury Allah S.W.T. by hurting your parents.

Your loved one? Him? Her? Any solution to that? What if the level of annoying hits ground zero and both get fed up and resulted to be in silence, in the so-called attempt to achieve serenity? And even worst, something bad happens after you've said goodbye/goodnight and that silly frustration was all you ever have of your last moment together. Not a good picture eh?

Therefore, I'm telling this not just to you readers but to myself.

Giving in to stop a fight or a moment of frustration does not mean you're weak, it just says you cherish and value his/her imperfections.

Because one is not enough

My camera is nowhere to be found, therefore no updates and this blog will be quite dusty :(